Getting someone to pledge a legacy or make an in-memory gift is hard work. Keeping them engaged after that initial commitment is even harder.
Most charities focus all their energy on acquisition, then treat stewardship like an afterthought. A generic thank you letter. An annual update. Maybe an invite to an event if they’re lucky. Then they wonder why pledgers change their wills or why in-memory donors never give again.
Stewardship isn’t just good manners, it’s the difference between a pledge that stays in someone’s will for decades and one that gets removed at the next update. It’s the difference between a one-time memorial gift and a supporter who gives in memory every year for the rest of their life.
This guide shows you how to steward legacy and in-memory donors properly, so they stay committed, stay engaged, and feel genuinely valued.
Why Stewardship Matters More for These Donors
Legacy and in-memory donors aren’t like other supporters. The relationship is different, the emotional stakes are higher, and the potential value is enormous.
Someone who’s pledged a legacy has made one of the most significant commitments a supporter can make. They’ve decided that your charity matters enough to be part of their will, sitting alongside family, friends, and other causes they care about deeply. That deserves more than a form letter once a year.
Someone who’s given in memory is channelling grief into something meaningful. They’re trusting you to honour someone they loved. Get the stewardship wrong and you don’t just lose a donor, you cause genuine harm.
Good stewardship turns pledgers into advocates who encourage others to leave legacy gifts. It transforms one-time memorial donors into long-term supporters who give regularly, volunteer, and eventually leave legacies themselves.
Stewardship for Legacy Pledgers
Start with a Proper Thank You
When someone tells you they’ve included your charity in their will, your first response sets the tone for everything that follows.
Send a personal thank you within 48 hours. Not a template letter with their name dropped in. A genuine, heartfelt acknowledgment of what they’ve done. Tell them what their gift means to your charity and the people you serve.
If possible, have the thank you come from your CEO or a senior leader rather than a generic “legacy team”. This signals that their gift matters at the highest level of your organisation.
Create a Legacy Circle
Legacy pledgers want to feel part of something. A legacy circle or recognition programme gives them that sense of belonging.
At minimum, it should include special communications that go only to legacy pledgers, invites to exclusive events or behind-the-scenes experiences, recognition (if they want it) on your website or in printed materials, and a designated contact person they can reach out to.
Some pledgers want public recognition. Others value complete privacy. Always ask for their preference and respect it absolutely.
Communicate Regularly (But Not Too Much)
Legacy pledgers should hear from you at least quarterly, but not so often that it becomes overwhelming.
Send them updates on your work that are different from what general supporters receive. They don’t need another appeal letter. They’ve already made their gift. What they need is reassurance that their future gift will be used well and that your charity is thriving.
Share impact stories that show long-term results. Talk about strategic plans and future ambitions. Give them a sense of the legacy their gift will create.
Include personal notes where possible. If a legacy pledger has a particular interest in one area of your work, make sure they hear about developments in that area.
Invite Them to Exclusive Events
Host annual legacy events that celebrate your pledgers and give them special access. Behind-the-scenes tours, talks from your CEO about future plans, chances to meet beneficiaries, or simple afternoon teas where they can meet other legacy supporters all work well.
Keep the events small and intimate rather than large and impersonal. The goal is connection, not scale.
Always make events optional. Some pledgers will attend everything. Others won’t come to anything but still appreciate being invited. Both responses are fine.
Ask for Their Input (and Actually Use It)
Legacy pledgers have chosen to invest in your long-term future. That gives them a stake in your organisation that goes beyond typical donor relationships.
Invite them to consultations about strategic direction, ask for feedback on new programmes, include them in focus groups, and share drafts of major plans and genuinely listen to their thoughts.
When you act on their feedback, tell them. Show them that their input shaped your decisions.
Stewardship for In-Memory Donors
Acknowledge Gifts with Sensitivity
When someone makes an in-memory donation, your response needs to acknowledge both the gift and the loss.
Thank them quickly, within 24 hours if possible. Express condolences for their loss and acknowledge the person being remembered by name. Explain how the donation will be used and the impact it will have.
Keep the tone warm but not effusive. The family is grieving. Your communication should reflect that.
If the donation came through a memorial page or funeral collection, send a summary of total funds raised. Families often want to know how much was raised in their loved one’s memory.
Provide Ongoing Memorial Updates
In-memory donors want to know that their gift is making a difference in honour of the person they’re remembering.
Send updates on how memorial funds are being used, ideally within three to six months of the donation. Share specific impact stories that connect to the gift.
Include the name of the person being remembered in these updates. Don’t send generic impact reports. Make it personal.
Offer Memorial Options Beyond One-Time Gifts
Many families want to continue giving in memory beyond the initial funeral collection or memorial page.
Make it easy by offering regular giving in memory, annual memorial donations on anniversaries or birthdays, memorial fundraising events, or physical memorials like benches or plaques if your charity offers these.
Don’t push these options in the immediate aftermath of death, but mention them in follow-up communications a few months later when the acute grief has subsided slightly.
Remember Anniversaries
If you know the anniversary of someone’s death, acknowledge it. A simple card or email that says “We’re thinking of you today and remembering [name]” means a great deal to grieving families.
This isn’t a fundraising communication. It’s just human kindness. But it’s also powerful stewardship because it shows you remember the person and the family, not just the donation.
Respect Different Grief Journeys
Not everyone grieves the same way or wants the same level of contact from charities.
Some families want regular updates and active involvement. Others want minimal contact and prefer to give quietly. Pay attention to signals and give people control over how much communication they receive.
Mistakes That Damage Stewardship
Treating Them Like Regular Donors
Legacy pledgers and in-memory donors need different communications, different treatment, and different respect than your direct mail audience.
Putting legacy pledgers on your standard fundraising mailing list is lazy and counterproductive. They’ve already made their gift. Stop asking them for more money in every communication.
Sending in-memory donors generic appeals weeks after they’ve made a memorial donation is insensitive.
Asking for Money Too Soon or Too Often
With legacy pledgers, the initial pledge is the ask. Your job now is stewardship, not constant fundraising.
With in-memory donors, you need substantial time between the memorial gift and any fundraising ask. At least six months, possibly a year. When you do ask, frame it carefully and always give them the option to be removed from fundraising communications entirely.
Forgetting About Them After the Initial Contact
The biggest stewardship failure is doing a good job at the start, then letting the relationship drift.
You sent a lovely thank you letter when they pledged, then nothing for 18 months. You acknowledged their in-memory gift beautifully, then they never heard from you again.
Stewardship is ongoing. It’s a relationship, not a transaction. Consistency matters more than grand gestures.
The Bottom Line
Legacy pledgers have trusted you with one of their most significant decisions. In-memory donors have trusted you with their grief and their loved one’s memory.
That trust deserves exceptional stewardship, not generic donor relations.
Communicate regularly and meaningfully. Treat them as individuals with different needs and preferences. Remember that their relationship with your charity is about more than money. Show them that their gift will create lasting change.
Get stewardship right and legacy pledgers stay in your pipeline for decades. In-memory donors become lifelong supporters. Both groups become advocates who bring others to your cause.
Get it wrong and you lose them, often without ever knowing why.
Want to go deeper? Read our Complete Guide to Legacy and In-Memory Fundraising for comprehensive strategies on building programmes that work.
Need expert guidance? Join Fundraising Everywhere as a member for access to the Legacy & In-Memory Conference, workshops on stewardship and donor relations, and a community of fundraisers working on the same challenges. Learn more about membership